Blues

هجرتك يا قلمى

2007-06-04T12:25:00.000+03:00

هجرتك يا قلمى
هجرتك لزمن ليس بقصير
هجرتك لأنى عجزت عن مواجهتك
هجرتك لأننى لم أستطع أن أضمك إلى مرة أخرى
لا أستطيع أن أكتب بك لمن أحب
ولا أستطيع أن أخط ألمى بك

طالما أحببت الخط بك
رسمت أحلامى وأوهامى وأنت بين يديى
أما الآن ... لم أعد أرى جدواك
لماذا أحببتك؟ ليتنى أتذكر
لكننى الآن أحتفظ داخلى بما كنت أبوح لك به
ربما خوفاً منك ، أو عليك
بما هروب هو من آلمى
ربما هو اليأس
و ربما قد جاء الوقت
الوقت لكى أصحو
و أرى الحياة بلا أحلام أو زخارف

هجرتك يا قلمى عندما صارحتنى
أنى لا أستطيع أن أكتب كلمات العشق بك
قلت لى: لا، لا تكتبى
لمن تكتبين ولما
وهو ليس بدار
قلت لى أن أنتظر، فانتظرت
ثم طال الانتظار حتى سئمت
وتاهت كلمات الحب من لسانى
ونسيتك
ولكن بعد فترة تذكرتك، وافتقدت لهوى معك
فبحثت عنك
ووجدتك سريعأً، فلم أبحث كثيراً
وهممت باللهو بك و أنت بين أصابعى

وما أن لمس سنك الورقة، فاجأتنى ثانية
قلت لى: لا ، انتظرى
لمن تكتبين
قلت لك لا يهم
انها فقط بعض من أحلامى و آلامى
قلت لى أن أنتظر
وألا أكتب كلاماتى
فلا يوجد من هو يهتم بها
بل هناك من سيفرح بألمى
ويسخر من حلمى
فتوقفت
لكننى لم أسامحك حينها
وإلى الآن لم أغفر لك
لأنك حبست الكلمات داخلى
لا أدرى ماذا أفعل الآن

هجرتك ولم أجد لك بديلاً
هجرتك ولكننى أنظر اليك فى كل مرة أعبر بجوارك
أنظر اليك بدون أن تلحظ ذلك
أشتاق اليك ولكننى أخشى أن تجرحنى ثانية بكلماتك
نعم جرحتنى كلماتك
ليس لقسوتها
بل.. لصدقها وحقيقتها
لذلك، هجرتك يا قلمى

مارس 26 2007

أين أنت

2007-01-01T01:13:00.000+02:00

سألتنى أين أنت
لم أعرف بما أجيبك
سألتنى لماذا لا أراك
فلم أستطيع الإجابة بالحقيقة
فالحقيقة أنى أخاف أن أراك
أخاف من الاقتراب منك
أخاف أن تفتضح مشاعرى
وأرمى بنفسى على صدرك
وأضمك إلى ولا أتركك تبعد
أخاف أن أجيبك بأنى أختبئ منك ومن نفسى
فلا أنت تدرى
ولا أنا أقدر على البوح
أكتم أحلامى داخلى
لأنها أحلام
أنت فقط تستطيع تحويلها لواقع
أنت فقط تستطيع أنت تفتح ينبوع نفسى
فيفيض حباً لك
أنت من تشتاق إليه نفسى
أحلم بك
أحلم أن أكون معك
ثم أفيق من حلمى
على سؤالك لى: أين أنت
تسألنى كما الغريب
لا تعلم أنى أود البقاء معك كل لحظات عمرى
لكننى أهرب
وأستمر فى الهروب
لأننى لابد أن أراها فى عينك أولاً
ثم أجيبك بإبتسامة واهية
أنا هنا كما ترى
فى مكانى المعتاد
و لا أكمل الكلام بما يدور فى ذهنى
لا أخبرك بمدى إشتياقى لك
لعينيك
للمسة يدك فى سلامك
لكلامك لى
أشتاق لسماع آرائك فى كل شئ
بل أشتاق لمجرد رؤياك، ولو على بعد
لكنك لا ترى كل ذلك
فقط تسمع إجاباتى الساذجة
وتظننى غير مبالية
فأتردد وأرتبك
هل كان يجب أن أخبرك الحقيقة..
هل كان يجب أن أنظر إلى عينيك الجميلتين وأقولها لك
أقول أنى أهرب منك حتى لا تأسرنى أكثر من ذلك
أقول لك أنى أريدك جوارى الآن ودائماً
ثم ينتهى حوارنا
وينشغل كل منا بأشياء أخرى
لكن الحوار داخلى لا ينتهى
أكمله وحدى

1-11-2006

In a dream..

2006-04-12T15:08:00.000+02:00

This poem is written by my colleague, Eng. Mohamed Galal.

For the honour of his late beloved, and his cherish to her love, i'm posting his poem here. Enjoy!

إستيقظت يوماً لأكتشف أنى قد فقدتها للأبد , فقد رحلت و لم يبق منها إلا الذكرى , رحلت دون قصد منها و إنما هو وعد الله جاء , أما اليوم إستيقظت صباحاً و كنت قد رأيتها , بعد كل هذا الزمان , زمان أحسبه عقوداً , و يحسبه الآخرون بمرور الأيام

كانت تلك أول مرةٍ أراها فى أحلامى , كنت دائماً ما أراها فى أطياف ذكرياتها , إلا أن تلك المرة كانت الأجمل , و لا أستطيع أن أرى لذلك سبباً , فقد رايتها أجمل , فقط ... أجمل , كل ما استطعت أن أتبينه أنها ظهرت لتنتشلنى , أو لتنقذنى مما أنا فيه , و ربما لن أستطيع أن أروى ذلك الحلم لأن وجهها فقط هو ما أذكر , و هو كل ما استطيع التفكير فيه

لا أدرى لماذا راودنى ذلك الحُلم , و هل أتى ليبعثنى من جديد أم ليقوض فىَّ أركان النسيان , و لا أقصد نسيانها بالطبع بل هى تلك الذكرى الحزينة فى رحيلها , أما أنا فلا أملك إلا الذكرى التى ظهرت هى لتبعثها من جديد

القاهرة فى 30/3/2006

When a woman loves a man

2006-02-10T00:34:00.000+02:00

She doesn't love him for his money, not for the things he can bring her..
she loves him because of the things he makes her want to give him.

She doesn't love him because of his looks or charm..
she loves him because he sees her as the prettiest woman.

She loves him when she sees all the wonderful things she wants to do to him..
she loves him when she sees how happy her future will be in his arms.

She loves him for all his weaknesses he shows her with no shame..
She loves him for the perfect picture she draws for him

She doesn't lose trust in him when he does wrong..
she knows he can fill her eyes again with his strength.

She loves him for being himself..
not for what he tries to show he is..
She simply loves, with no doubt.

Symphony of Hate

2006-02-09T23:53:00.000+02:00

"They are all smiling, I am crying.
They are all happy, and i don't know if they are lying.
The world shows me the worst, in my best moments.
And everything they do looks its best, in my darkest thoughts.

Seems unfair all the way.
Seems I don't get my share of luck of the day..
Down I go.
Up they go.

They get everything they never deserved.
I never get anything what I've always deserved.

Growing inside me... making me blind..."

And on and on goes this hatred symphony.
The words darker without change of melody.
How many poor souls join the orchester.
How many sleepy ones listen, without getting the picture?

Late night dreams

2006-02-08T23:29:00.000+02:00

Late..
so late at night
when the light dies..
and the wind gets cold
the sleepy puppets come out..
they dance their deadly steps
and draw the darkest dreams..
they jump and swirl
staining the walls with dark colors..

They are just dreams after all.
At night they are just too dark to imagin.

Except Me

2006-01-22T23:45:00.000+02:00

You may lie to the whole world, but not to me.
You can pass over everyone, but not over me.
I am so in your life, in your soul, that you can't get rid of me.

So much is the time we spent, together or not together, but thinking of each other.
You just can't throw all this time away.
I am there, and too hard to leave.
For now i can read your eyes clear.
Those looks I know well. I have seen them a lot.
I can also read your mind if I need to.
I told you, lie to the whole world, but not to me.
For I will know it from your eyes, your sound.

Don't be upset, don't feel trapped.
For i will be the best person to turn to when you need someone.
I will be there.
There to comfort, to talk to and to argue with.
To do what you please, without even asking for it.
At times like that, you will know how much I care,
and why you can never get rid of me!
I am there, and too hard to leave.

Feb. 23rd, 2001.

Wreck

2006-01-22T22:57:00.000+02:00

Please, don't try to get closer.
Don't hope for more.
He can't let you go further,
because you don't know the truth.

You will be shocked to know what really lies within.
The face you see is just the outer mask.
Don't hurt both by trying to reveal the real image.
Can't stand the truth.
Let it be like this forever and and let go of any further dreams.

Because it's hard to accept what's gonna show.

Wreck, black, tears and envy.
All colors of things that should not be there.
Why?
Why all that?
You haven't seen what he has seen.
You haven't dealt with people that he dealt with.
So, if you get afraid, go.
We won't ask you for more.
Just don't look back.
But wrecks are everywhere.
Inside everyone.
Images you see are not the true ones.
You are just too pure.
Too honest to see the lies.
So don't come closer, because no body will have to explain.

Dec. 21st, 2000.

Wounded

2006-01-22T22:41:00.000+02:00

The knife went deep.
Too deep.
Couldn't turn around to see.
But at a glimpse of the hand holding it,
never would have imagined.
It was a supposedly a kind hand.

Then all the screams at the wounded.
What are you thinking of?!
Nothing is the same again,
no matter how we try.
Couldn't find any more decent reason.
It was the wound,
the only bare fact.
Showing itself clear.

Not sure if the knife is still there,
or has fallen down.
Because the hurt is felt somewhere else now...

Nov. 17th, 2000.

Cold night

2005-12-20T22:53:00.000+02:00

So cold outside
Freezing and shaking the bones
Trying to get to a warm place to hide

Empty streets with wet curbs
Shivering people with runny nose
Walking hastly down the street
Searching for the flame that will warm their feet

There he was walking too
Wearing light cloths and freezing to death
He doesn't have no where to go

Feeling colder than the others
For he has nothing to warm his heart
Empty soul with no sisters or brothers

Walking down the wet cold street...
Pretending it's the cold weather that makes him in need

In the moonlight on a full moon night

2005-12-19T01:03:00.000+02:00

I looked at the moon
shining brightly in full.
I hoped you were here
and gazing at the moon with me.

But you were not here
and not any place near.
I talked to the moon and asked
if you were gazing too.

The moon with all its brightness
couldn't tell me an answer.
You were not here
but I wished you were.

I imagined your face
looking at me in tenderness.
As I began talking to you
I heard a reply.

I was startled and opened my eyes to see the real you
and when I looked into the face of the one who replied...
I didn't see your face in his.

So I took my eyes off his face
and gazed again into the full moon...
in that full moon night.

Oh you shiny moon
if you get a glimpse of him looking at you
please tell me where he is
and why can't he be with me
looking at you!

Painful

2005-12-16T17:45:00.000+02:00

As you walked near by, you missed something.
You did not see the tear.
The tear that ran down my eyes.
You missed looking into my eyes,
or did you miss it on intention?
This tear was useless if you didn't see it.
That tear was so precious, so true.
You just couldn't see it.

You just walked away.
As a stranger, you gave me a quick, meaningless look.
Then you went away.
How could you not see my tear?
How could you pass over those tears,
when you have been the cause of them...

Fearing the fire

2005-12-15T00:09:00.000+02:00

Can't get closer
Can't move nearer

Fire can start and nothing will put it off
One small step at a time, then it will take off

Truth is clear and facts are done
But the heat has just begun

Can't get closer but can't return
Wishing so much but wishes are fun

Standing at a distance from what's bright
Any step closer will show no bright

The sparkle will go
And troubles will show

Being in no need for the playing & crying
Such dangerous roads should not be trodden

Turn around before you get stuck
Step back and hide before you get struck

By the bad side of it
Don't let yourself be deceived by it

Can't get closer
Can't move nearer

Because the fire that's gonna start
Can and will tear your life apart

20th Dec. 2000

As blue as it gets

2005-12-13T17:40:00.000+02:00

We walk down the road of life,
not knowing what lays ahead of us.
And along the road we carry our blues,
not knowing how get rid of them.
They pile up and fill our eyes.
We drown under the pile.
Stretch out hand pleading for help,
but not always there is someone to answer.
Then we taste the bitterness.
And for the astonishment that it brings,
we love the bitter taste of blues.
We pull back our hand underneath the pile.
Then walk as slow as we can carrying our heap.
We walk but losing vision of the road.
Do we still care?
Walk and see,
and as blue as it gets,
you will learn how to turn bitter to sweet.

Blues vagabond

2005-12-12T13:52:00.000+02:00

You there, wondering aimlessly.
Your blues on your shoulders ache.
Come for you might find the spot.
The spot to put your weight down.

I won't promise you to take your blues away.
Just stay.
For you have been a vagabond for so long.
And your blues are too heavey to carry along.