Symphony of Hate

"They are all smiling, I am crying.
They are all happy, and i don't know if they are lying.
The world shows me the worst, in my best moments.
And everything they do looks its best, in my darkest thoughts.

Seems unfair all the way.
Seems I don't get my share of luck of the day..
Down I go.
Up they go.

They get everything they never deserved.
I never get anything what I've always deserved.

Growing inside me... making me blind..."

And on and on goes this hatred symphony.
The words darker without change of melody.
How many poor souls join the orchester.
How many sleepy ones listen, without getting the picture?

Late night dreams

Late..
so late at night
when the light dies..
and the wind gets cold
the sleepy puppets come out..
they dance their deadly steps
and draw the darkest dreams..
they jump and swirl
staining the walls with dark colors..

They are just dreams after all.
At night they are just too dark to imagin.

Except Me

You may lie to the whole world, but not to me.
You can pass over everyone, but not over me.
I am so in your life, in your soul, that you can't get rid of me.

So much is the time we spent, together or not together, but thinking of each other.
You just can't throw all this time away.
I am there, and too hard to leave.
For now i can read your eyes clear.
Those looks I know well. I have seen them a lot.
I can also read your mind if I need to.
I told you, lie to the whole world, but not to me.
For I will know it from your eyes, your sound.

Don't be upset, don't feel trapped.
For i will be the best person to turn to when you need someone.
I will be there.
There to comfort, to talk to and to argue with.
To do what you please, without even asking for it.
At times like that, you will know how much I care,
and why you can never get rid of me!
I am there, and too hard to leave.

Feb. 23rd, 2001.

Wreck

Please, don't try to get closer.
Don't hope for more.
He can't let you go further,
because you don't know the truth.

You will be shocked to know what really lies within.
The face you see is just the outer mask.
Don't hurt both by trying to reveal the real image.
Can't stand the truth.
Let it be like this forever and and let go of any further dreams.

Because it's hard to accept what's gonna show.

Wreck, black, tears and envy.
All colors of things that should not be there.
Why?
Why all that?
You haven't seen what he has seen.
You haven't dealt with people that he dealt with.
So, if you get afraid, go.
We won't ask you for more.
Just don't look back.
But wrecks are everywhere.
Inside everyone.
Images you see are not the true ones.
You are just too pure.
Too honest to see the lies.
So don't come closer, because no body will have to explain.

Dec. 21st, 2000.

Wounded

The knife went deep.
Too deep.
Couldn't turn around to see.
But at a glimpse of the hand holding it,
never would have imagined.
It was a supposedly a kind hand.

Then all the screams at the wounded.
What are you thinking of?!
Nothing is the same again,
no matter how we try.
Couldn't find any more decent reason.
It was the wound,
the only bare fact.
Showing itself clear.

Not sure if the knife is still there,
or has fallen down.
Because the hurt is felt somewhere else now...

Nov. 17th, 2000.